Well, it is done and there is no going back now.  I had gastric bypass last week.

I worked 15 hours on Memorial Day and was completely exhausted. We checked in at 5 am the next day, had surgery, and was to my room by 8:45 am. I was the first surgery of the day and the easiest by his report. All I remember is laughing at the adorable anesthesiologist and getting centered on the very small surgical table. Seriously though, itty bitty surgical table...bypass on large people....bad idea.  Hubby also reported that I was trying to grab the walls as they were wheeling me from post-op to my room. Strange. I vaguely remember that little bit.

When I actually could think clearly, I began to question myself. Why me? Why in the hell did I do this? Does everyone hurt this bad? Did something go wrong? None of the above. I was in some nasty horrible pain and just having regrets. Everything went great and I was experiencing the normal amount of pain. A good friend of mine said the pain was worse than labor! I didnt really have anything to compare it to except for a sinus surgery. It was not incisional pain, but stomach muscle and pain with the drain coming out of my right side. And gas pain! Lord, I have never had gas pain....holy crap! I thought I was having a heart attack. No amount of simethicone (gas drops) could fix that pain. I had to walk, walk, and walk and take the meds as soon as I could have them.

I actually only had 1 legit breakdown. I honestly expected more. It was awful. I called for pain meds so I could get up and walk around and prayed that the meds would help. Well, I waited, waited, and waited. 2 hours. I was not a happy camper. I understand the nurses on the floor that I was on, have a number of patients. But, really....2 hours?!?!? So, when my nurse comes in and asks about my pain, I just lose it. Bad. Lost it for a good 20 minutes while he was standing there watching me. Very irritating. But, probably making sure my crazy ass doesn't hyperventilate because I  was on my way to hyperventilation.

Anywho, I was discharged after 2 days. Home was nice. My bed, not so nice. I never realized how much I use my stomach muscles to get out of bed. Ouch! It was tricky; trying not to cry getting out of bed, taking a much needed shower, picking up my cell phone charger that I dropped on the floor. I survived. I survived, because I have an amazing hubby that does anything I ask. Almost anything.

Now that I am roughly 10 days post-op, I am getting more comfortable, figuring out what foods I can and can not tolerate, and realizing that the weight comes off faster than I would ever believe. As of Wednesday, I am down 20lbs and my blood pressure was normal without any medications! Yoh see that....normal! And, 20lbs! Holy crap! It worked! I'm on my way!

Just a little disclaimer for you little readers, when you are bigger your whole life you begin to question if anything will work. It did. I'm alive. I'm very happy that I have started my journey. My life is beginning once again!

I have been thinking a bit about the differences in generation and how people conduct themselves.

I was born in 1979. I don't remember a lot about the 80s, but the 90s....was my jam.  I had a cellphone that was size of my head, I  listened to Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Silverchair, and I was high school student that worked 2 jobs. My parents taught me a great lesson that I will hopefully pass on to my future little monsters.....you don't get anywhere in life unless you work for it.

If you have read my earlier posts, you will know that I am the oldest of 4 girls. My parents worked their butts off to give us everything. My dad worked for the County roads department and farmed. My mom went to college, tried to keep us girls in line, and worked other jobs. I credit my multitasking ability to that woman! I don't really know how she handled college, 4 girls, a farmer husband, and an outside job. They did what the needed to to provide for us. All four of us girls worked when we were in high school. That is what we were expected to do.

I saw a young lady on the news this morning and her story made my blood boil. The young lady is suing her parents for tuition and living expenses. She moved out because she mad. When this child didn't follow their rules and lived under their roof. Really? I mean most of us disobeyed our parents here or there, but sue them? Come on. Get a job, apply for student loans, and act like an adult since you so obviously don't want to be a teenager. I would never think about doing that to my parents. It is ridiculous. I really hope that I am not the only person thinking these things.

I also can't handle Teen Mom. Ugh. I've tried to watch it a few times to see what all the fuss was about. In the few episodes that I saw, there was a lot of yelling at parents or being angry with them for not helping raise their children that they made. I am not a mother and I do have friends that were teen moms, so dont take the following wrong....take responsibility for what you made and patent/take care of your child. Yes, people need help and there is nothing wrong with asking for it or giving that help.  But to be pissed at your parents, because they won't watch your children. Come on.

I get so aggrevated with situations like the above. I don't know why. It is not like I can actually do something about it. What I can do is pass along my morals, my values, and my work ethics to my future children.